Thursday, January 23, 2014

The Story of Us, Part Four

If you need to catch up, here are parts one, two, and three.


This story, our story, has been hard to put into words. This last part is a bit rambling because I just didn't know how to out it any other way.

When I left off, Clay had just made his grand debut into the world.

Those first few months were hard. My mom stayed with us for the first week, then Clay and I were alone. Mike would come over every day after work and spend a few hours with Clay, which I admire him for. I know it wasn't easy to work all day, come spend time with Clay, then have to go home and eat dinner, etc. But guys, for 21ish hours a day, it was me and Clay.

I'm convinced that my brain blocked out moments from this time because I just don't remember much. I was exhausted to say the least. That old saying, "sleep when the baby sleeps?" Yeah, that doesn't apply when you're a single mom. Stuff still had to get done and Clay hardly slept at all anyway. From the minute Mike walked in the door til the moment he left, I didn't stop moving. I had a precious 2-3 hours to get everything done.

Eventually, it got better. I went back to work and got my sanity back. Clay was diagnosed with acid reflux and we knew how to treat it. Mike's mom started watching Clay for a few hours on the weekends to give me a break.

And now? It's not perfect, but what we have just works.

As far as holidays go, we haven't had any issues. Mike and his mom are the only ones in his family who live in a Charlotte so he's fine with us going to Tennessee for Thanksgving. As far as Christmas goes, we just kind of wing it. Clay's first Christmas we left for Tennessee on Christmas Eve. The plan this past Christmas was to leave for Tennessee Christmas Day afternoon but because of Clay's ears I ended up spending the day with Mike's family so Clay got us both on Christmas.

I keep Clay every night through the week and Mike usually keeps him on Friday or Saturday night. Mike comes over after work every day through the week and helps with dinner, bathtime, and bedtime.

Most days, Clay gets to spend time with both of his parents and sees us pleasantly interacting. I know this isn't always the case when parents aren't together and I'm so glad that we can give this to Clay. In general, we both avoid arguing like the plague and the few times we have had a disagreement it has been over text and (obviously) not in front of Clay.

I know that eventually things will change. Mike or I will get married and that will add another element to our life. I can't say that I'm prepared for that change, but I know we will find a way to make it work.


And that's the story of us.

Thank you so much for all of your kind comments as I've shared this story!


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Trish said...

It is SO hard to be a new mom and not have a constant support person with you. I remember trying so hard to keep it together after Ryan had to leave for work a week after the baby was born. I did not succeed in keeping it all together! I finally cracked one morning, called my mom sobbing and begging her to bring me hashbrowns (I know, random, right?). She ended up spending a little more time at my house after that ;-)

Anonymous said...

I truly don't know how you did it, having a tiny baby is so hard. I do have to tell you, it gets easier! The more Little K learns to do on her own the easier my life becomes again. :)

nicole said...

I'm glad everything is working out great co parenting! It seems you are doing a fabulous job and Clay is thriving! As hard as the days may have been or are sometimes, know that they do get easier.

Katie @ said...

You are an inspiration mama - I can't imagine how difficult it would be to be a single mother. Keep doing what you're doing - you are raising a good little guy!

Desiree Macke said...

I tip my hat to all single mommas. Babies are TOUGH WORK!
With that said, what a blessing that you and Mike make your situation work. Clay has an awesome set of parents.

Liz said...

You've done a great job! Clay is a great kiddo!