Clay takes a spin at guest posting

Inspired by Toast posting over on Princess Burlap's blog, Clay decided he wanted to try his hand at guest posting and since I'm currently busy wallowing in my sorrows over the freezing temps, I thought it was the perfect idea.

Before I turn you over to Clay, I wanted to let you know that part 3 of the Story of Us will be up tomorrow. If you need to catch up, here are parts one and two.

Heyyyy, ladies. How you doin'?

I'm Clay Lucas. Or that's what they tell strangers anyway. At home I usually get called monkey boy or pumpkin butt (really, mom, pumpkin butt?).

I was going to tell you all some stories of the wild parties that happen in my crib at night with my friends Patrick, Larry, Elmo, John Ralphio, and Prince George; but mom made me wear a coat today (gasp) and a hat (the horror), and I'm just not happy about it. So instead of wild stories, I'm here to spill all of mom's secrets.

Are you ready?

• Mom says, "don't tell dada" a lot. Usually when she puts chocolate chips in my pancakes on Sundays or when we eat in front of the tv when we watch football.
• I don't understand why mom tells dad that I don't need a bottle at night because sometimes I see her and dad drinking out of these brown bottles. What's that all about? Talk about a double standard.
• Once mom got me out of my crib just to snuggle with me and rock. She thinks I slept through it, but I was just faking. Mom's snuggles are the best.
• When I wake up super early and mom wants to sleep longer, she lets me play with her phone in her bed. I've started setting my internal alarm because a guy has to have time to call the ladies, right?
• Mom likes to sing and dance in the car. All.the.time. Please don't ever sign up for carpool, mom. Please.

Oh, I hear mom calling for me. I'll try to convince mom that I need to guest post again soon!